Go Gratitude

Last night I did a "Grinds My Gear" blog, so today's blog will be all about Gratitude. You can't let the negativity of life get you! Once you realease it, get back to Gratitude! So now my Top Ten list of what has made me smile this week.

1. Seeing the person I love tomorrow and speding the whole weekend with them and good friends.

2. A woman's powerful Angela Davis-like Afro on the bus this morning

3. A child laughing and playing with her mother

4. Not waiting too long for the bus or train, and having my job open on time

5. The woman in 7-11 spotting me the 2 cents for my tea

6. Finding a dollar outside the 7-11 after I bought my tea

7. Listening and liking all the songs in my MP3 player

8. Realizing that I like Yoga

9. A good night's sleep

10. Feeling good an energetic all day.

Get Gratitude! Now I challenge you to find 10 things you are glad that you saw or happened to you or heard, etc... and release it to the universe. Trust, you'll feel a lot better :)

What Really Grinds My Gears...a week in review

*First off I want to thank my sans Eric Cortes for the inspiration for this blog....as well as the pic...that I "borrowed", lol.*

Even though its ONLY Wednesday, below is a Top Ten list of things that have "Grinded My Gears" this week:

1. The replacement of the washing and drying machines in my building laundry room. Yes the machines are nicer and much more efficent, but its now a $1.65 to wash and dry! a 15 cent increase. This is the 2nd increase in less than a year.....oh and there was no warning or announcement made to the residents....way to go!

2. SEPTA. *sigh* where to I begin?! Trains/buses come when they want (I swear I thought the schedule for the 55 route changed before I realized the bus was just late for a whole week, thus making me late for work, HENCE, an extra hour wait for the R7), the train lines and bus lines don't sink up at all, and to top it off, there might be a strike! Seriously?! Now, there seems to be a needle scare on the Market East Line. I am saving up a down payment for my Jetta as we speak!

3. Co-workers quick to harp on/blame me for my customers shortcomings. Ok, no one's perfect. I'll admit I make mistakes, but I learn from them. But to tease and rag on me EVERYTIME something isn't perfect....get over it and over yourselves.

4. Co-workers/people in general who feel the need to fill silence with ramblings, noises, anecdotes, misplaced laughter, or asinine conversation. Silence is Golden.

5. No more Conan O'Brien on Late Night. I thought he was taking over for Leno? Yet Leno still comes on at 11:30pm <---confused :(

6. Twitter moving slow @ work. What's the deal?!

7. People who can't take no for an answer

8. Spring weather. Yes, I am grateful to be relieved of 20 degree temperatures, with ice on the ground and biting winds, but when they turn the heat down in anticipation of Spring it might as well be 20 degrees out! My apt is no longer the steamy oasis it used to be :(

9. American Idol. People still watch this show?! I'll give $10 to someone who can find me a decent show to watch Wednesday nights at 9pm because there is nothing on!

10. Last but not least....being bored at work. I swear sometimes I can finish a week's worth of work in 4 hours but I am mandated to a desk for 9hrs a day (they say we get 1hr for lunch, but when you work through it everyday....I think they should just pay you for the 9 and give a 3 day weekend....I'm just saying). Thank goodness I have my peeps to get me through the day!

.....And that's what really Grinds My Gears.

Fear of Success?

I picked up The Mastery of Love this weekend, the second book by Don Miguel Ruiz (one of my favorite authors), and of course I am intellectually devouring it. It re-introduced me to the idea of mitote or Dream World as described by the ancient Toltecs. Ok, I have a confession, every once in a while if get engrossed in the ideologies of free thinking. In which I examine the mysteries of life through books, videos, quotes, yoga and other various things. The basic explanation of the mitote is the Dream reality we have all created for ourselves. Basically what we perceive as real is nothing more than what our minds have dreamed up...we make our own reality. That sounds pretty harsh sometimes when I think about. I try not to think about or focus on the lack in my life because let's face it, the more we focus on is the more of what we get. So, if we create our own realities in this collective Dream state, why do certain things matter? Why do we fear things?

First off, I hate the word "fear". I don't believe in it because really there is no such thing. Fear is what we give the name to an emotion that makes us doubt ourselves. We should never do this. When you break it down, it makes no sense! How can you "fear" something you have created? You can't. You know what "it" is, what you want, etc... you're just doubting your ability (for whatever reason). Herein lies my current (albeit a recurring life theme) situation. I doubt myself constantly, and it makes me wonder if I am failing myself. One of the things that I doubt (replacing the word fear) is success. Crazy to think right?! Yeah success....kind of trippy. I mean we all think we want it (I am going by the standard capitalist definition here); the money, cars, power, ability, control, adoration, privilege. But really think about it. Could you handle it? Everyone loves you when they're winning, but more people HATE you when you're failing. The doubt keeps me at a distance from the possibility of absolute success. Its been this way my whole life. That responsibility is...STRESSFUL! How can this be stressful in a world I create? Simply. Its not just MY world. Its also a world of collective thinkers, a collective Dream. This doesn't mean I can't surround myself with like-minded people...living in a like-minded Dream. I believe this "doubt" is what is standing between me and greatness. But is it just me? What happens when you work, and work, and toil, yet there are little or no results? You get tired. Worn. Stressed.

I believe the answer lies within us and within the Dream itself. If we control our minds, thoughts, and make our own choices, we create our dream. Remove doubt and worry, and control the Dream. Interesting.