March 26, 2009

...and on the count of 3 everybody run back to your fantasy



I've been pondering the recent lessons that I have been learning as laid out in the Master of Love. In analyzing them, and really taking on the challenge of living and being with and in LOVE, I am monitoring my thoughts. Like most people I have started many life projects, some I have finished, many I have not. Its the lessons we seem to not do too well in that we learn the most. Personally, 50% of all projects I take on.....fail (or at least that's how it feels). I went from a stellar student, to stellar athlete, to artist, to web designer, to booking agent. All of these things I really poured myself into and wanted to be; and believed I was. The fact that I am almost none of these now, is quite worrisome.


Now don't get me wrong, I was damned good at all those things (I trophies, awards and accolades to prove this), but with them ending in my life I wonder.....did I fail or is it simply showing my growth over time? I hate failure. I hate the word, the feeling, the admission of it....everything, but I find myself wondering.... did I fail? OK, I'll admit, at times I got lazy and didn't pour myself into my work, eventually finding it boring, mundane, or unfulfilled, thus ending my relationship with my occupation. I've come to realize and accept that your occupation doesn't define you; your Actions do. Actions build character. Actions are the result of emotion. Emotion is our body's way of interpreting our Thoughts. And Thoughts are things. They are on a frequency of Attraction. So if we Attract what we want, did I simply stop Attracting those things in my life? Is this part of our inevitable cycle? I often feel bad because I am no longer the things I once were. People usually think that you didn't have the ability to "stick with" something, hence your not good enough. I don't agree. Screw what people think. I did what I did because it brought me joy, fulfillment, happiness, challenge, gratitude and love, not necessarily outward approval.


I started thinking recently: what is it that I want to do? what would make me feel fulfilled? This is going to sound a little odd, but I thought of a mission statement for myself. OK, so I thought of myself as a company and thought of what I would like to offer people out of all the skills I have amassed over my years. Here's what I came up with:




The sole purpose of _________________ Collaborative Consulting is to instruct its clientele to ensure the continuance of business and sustainability in an ever changing environment. To stay current with all technological, social, political, cultural, educational, international, regional, informational, animalistic and human advances. To consult all parties, who are searching, in the realm of spiritual, emotional, physical, psychological and physiological matters. To help bring about a state of peace and collaboration to simply "get things done". Working with communal and one-on-one efforts to collaborate, organize, and plan: events, conferences, parties, etc... Using technological tools (IE social media) to advance the message of the collaborative effort. To bring about peaceful, playful and fun energy to all work with the purpose of completing a task and growing as a human. To work with
friends and go getters to "make things happen." To never forget our roots and to ALWAYS give back. Not only to ourselves, but to others, and to Earth.



Yeah.....I don't know HOW the hell to use that to survive and make money and be successful (in a monetary sense)...but at least I got it out!






Go Gratitude



Last night I did a "Grinds My Gear" blog, so today's blog will be all about Gratitude. You can't let the negativity of life get you! Once you realease it, get back to Gratitude! So now my Top Ten list of what has made me smile this week.




1. Seeing the person I love tomorrow and speding the whole weekend with them and good friends.




2. A woman's powerful Angela Davis-like Afro on the bus this morning




3. A child laughing and playing with her mother




4. Not waiting too long for the bus or train, and having my job open on time




5. The woman in 7-11 spotting me the 2 cents for my tea




6. Finding a dollar outside the 7-11 after I bought my tea




7. Listening and liking all the songs in my MP3 player




8. Realizing that I like Yoga




9. A good night's sleep




10. Feeling good an energetic all day.




Get Gratitude! Now I challenge you to find 10 things you are glad that you saw or happened to you or heard, etc... and release it to the universe. Trust, you'll feel a lot better :)

March 25, 2009

What Really Grinds My Gears...a week in review


*First off I want to thank my sans Eric Cortes for the inspiration for this blog....as well as the pic...that I "borrowed", lol.*

Even though its ONLY Wednesday, below is a Top Ten list of things that have "Grinded My Gears" this week:

1. The replacement of the washing and drying machines in my building laundry room. Yes the machines are nicer and much more efficent, but its now a $1.65 to wash and dry! a 15 cent increase. This is the 2nd increase in less than a year.....oh and there was no warning or announcement made to the residents....way to go!

2. SEPTA. *sigh* where to I begin?! Trains/buses come when they want (I swear I thought the schedule for the 55 route changed before I realized the bus was just late for a whole week, thus making me late for work, HENCE, an extra hour wait for the R7), the train lines and bus lines don't sink up at all, and to top it off, there might be a strike! Seriously?! Now, there seems to be a needle scare on the Market East Line. I am saving up a down payment for my Jetta as we speak!

3. Co-workers quick to harp on/blame me for my customers shortcomings. Ok, no one's perfect. I'll admit I make mistakes, but I learn from them. But to tease and rag on me EVERYTIME something isn't perfect....get over it and over yourselves.

4. Co-workers/people in general who feel the need to fill silence with ramblings, noises, anecdotes, misplaced laughter, or asinine conversation. Silence is Golden.

5. No more Conan O'Brien on Late Night. I thought he was taking over for Leno? Yet Leno still comes on at 11:30pm <---confused :(

6. Twitter moving slow @ work. What's the deal?!

7. People who can't take no for an answer

8. Spring weather. Yes, I am grateful to be relieved of 20 degree temperatures, with ice on the ground and biting winds, but when they turn the heat down in anticipation of Spring it might as well be 20 degrees out! My apt is no longer the steamy oasis it used to be :(

9. American Idol. People still watch this show?! I'll give $10 to someone who can find me a decent show to watch Wednesday nights at 9pm because there is nothing on!

10. Last but not least....being bored at work. I swear sometimes I can finish a week's worth of work in 4 hours but I am mandated to a desk for 9hrs a day (they say we get 1hr for lunch, but when you work through it everyday....I think they should just pay you for the 9 and give a 3 day weekend....I'm just saying). Thank goodness I have my peeps to get me through the day!

.....And that's what really Grinds My Gears.