Traditions

Throughout my young life I've grown accustomed to celebrating traditions with my friends and family. I'm not just talking about holidays, birthdays or other annual special events. I mean those small random, off-the-cuff things that make a mundane existence bearable. Last night I came to the realization that, in some odd way, I no longer have any of those traditions at my disposal. No getting adult milkshakes on payday, no trying out a new bar before the hipsters claim it, no dinner parties, no random sleepovers....nothing.
I know that this plan to "change" has been in place for quite a while, but sometimes things just don't hit you when they should; reality doesn't set it. Well, now reality is slapping me in the face. When you have that sudden "I want to go home" feeling and realize that you don't quite have a home [yet] is a disheartening feeling to say the least. I've never been much of a long term planner, so feeling that I should I be in control of every single move ahead of me is difficult. I know it probably comes off as I don't care, can't think for myself, or dare I say it a bit "slow", but I've only had to think of just myself for so long that thinking for 2 proves difficult and out of place.
I usually put the needs of others before myself because hey, if my friends and family are happy then I'm happy. It takes very little to make me content.
Thus far, this trip has taught me that my tradition of leadership might be in for a BIG change. I don't know what that is, but I can assure you its a lot different from what I'm used to. Not saying this is a BAD thing, just an adjustment. Did I expect this to be easy? No. Did I expect reality to sucker punch me in the face last night as I crossed the California border? No. Am I slightly losing my mind because I feel like I have less control over things than normal? Hell YES!
But if I've learned anything in life, its to be optimistic and resilient. Everyday I look straight into the face of God as I stare in awe at the beauty of the Earth, and somehow that's comfort enough. That's a personal tradition I've kept. To always look out into the vastness of the Universe because the Universe will always take care of you.