Fear of Success?

I picked up The Mastery of Love this weekend, the second book by Don Miguel Ruiz (one of my favorite authors), and of course I am intellectually devouring it. It re-introduced me to the idea of mitote or Dream World as described by the ancient Toltecs. Ok, I have a confession, every once in a while if get engrossed in the ideologies of free thinking. In which I examine the mysteries of life through books, videos, quotes, yoga and other various things. The basic explanation of the mitote is the Dream reality we have all created for ourselves. Basically what we perceive as real is nothing more than what our minds have dreamed up...we make our own reality. That sounds pretty harsh sometimes when I think about. I try not to think about or focus on the lack in my life because let's face it, the more we focus on is the more of what we get. So, if we create our own realities in this collective Dream state, why do certain things matter? Why do we fear things?

First off, I hate the word "fear". I don't believe in it because really there is no such thing. Fear is what we give the name to an emotion that makes us doubt ourselves. We should never do this. When you break it down, it makes no sense! How can you "fear" something you have created? You can't. You know what "it" is, what you want, etc... you're just doubting your ability (for whatever reason). Herein lies my current (albeit a recurring life theme) situation. I doubt myself constantly, and it makes me wonder if I am failing myself. One of the things that I doubt (replacing the word fear) is success. Crazy to think right?! Yeah success....kind of trippy. I mean we all think we want it (I am going by the standard capitalist definition here); the money, cars, power, ability, control, adoration, privilege. But really think about it. Could you handle it? Everyone loves you when they're winning, but more people HATE you when you're failing. The doubt keeps me at a distance from the possibility of absolute success. Its been this way my whole life. That responsibility is...STRESSFUL! How can this be stressful in a world I create? Simply. Its not just MY world. Its also a world of collective thinkers, a collective Dream. This doesn't mean I can't surround myself with like-minded people...living in a like-minded Dream. I believe this "doubt" is what is standing between me and greatness. But is it just me? What happens when you work, and work, and toil, yet there are little or no results? You get tired. Worn. Stressed.

I believe the answer lies within us and within the Dream itself. If we control our minds, thoughts, and make our own choices, we create our dream. Remove doubt and worry, and control the Dream. Interesting.