The AMAs

On a slow Monday Night, with nothing to watch, I check my Tweets (Follow Me @Agent_Fresh on Twitter, btw) and notice that the Twitterverse is all "a flutter" with the happenings of the American Music Awards (AMAs). With nothing else holding my attention, I decide to watch. I'm not one for award shows really, unless I KNOW I can get a good laugh out of them, and the AMAs did not disappoint! From Jennifer Lopez's fall to Lady GaGa breaking a glass case and lighting a piano on fire, to Adam Lambert's orgy of a performance...I was thoroughly entertained. Granted, Micheal Jackson winning 4 posthumous awards (setting another music record), and old school rappin' Eminem were highlights for me, but nothing says comedy like Green Day frontman Billy Joe cracking on the chorus of "21 Guns"! Thank you American Music Awards and ABC for reaching unintentional BET-like tomfoolery, can't wait till next year!

Ambition: The Journey

Ambition is the desire for personal achievement. Ambitious persons seek to be the best at what they choose to do for attainment, power, or superiority. Ambition is also the object of this desire. A poor example of 'Ambition' could be 'to become a Confetti collector'.

The above quote from Wikipedia (gotta love an open source, editable encyclopedia) is a major part of my vocabulary. I've come to the conclusion that I am one of those people that has a hand in every pot. My interests are so wide ranging and eclectic that....I want to pursue them ALL! What holds me back? Responsibility. A scary word I know, but it holds me back from really letting go. All the question, concerns, fears...have yet to be take over by the sheer confidence and will I should have. But we all know there comes a point when you just can't take it anymore...and the REAL you, comes through.

How I WAS feeling.....

i deserve better

I am tired.
You expect me to be there for you
While
She expects you to be there for her
And
What can I expect?

I am tired.
You want me there,
But
Only when you want me there,
While
Any other time you couldn't care, less

I am tired.
I hate you, almost as much as I love you
You drive me crazy
But
You love me
Its a beautiful...
Friendship

I am tired.
I am no one's almost someone,
I am no ones only sometimes.
I am tired.
I am someone's one-sided want-
My heart doesn't always listen to my mind.
I am tired.

ps-I didn't write this, but someone I know did ;)

The Power of Friendship Vol I.

Ahhhh, nothing takes your mind off  a difficult time quite like friends. I had a horrible week last week: Breakup, bad days at work, broke out into hives, locked myself out my apartment.....not a good week, but this weekend changed all that.

I mustered up all my energy and decided, THIS was going to turn it all around. Birthdays, bars, restaurants and cityscapes totally transformed me, and the best part was that I did it with people I love and care about. Whatever reservations I had totally went out the window, and I allowed myself to have a GREAT time. Its funny when you let other people into your world; you see things differently. I saw things from a fresh perspective and really gained a new found appreciate for all that I have and who I am. From the way I view myself to how I am viewed. I felt.....good. Which, if you know me, its hard for me to feel that way about myself. My weeks are packed with business, and thinking, and the forward progression of image and career that I don't stop. And look. I forgot how much I miss roaming Philly and getting lost in the little things. The lights, the people, the food. The 2nd weekend in a row I was blessed with a perfect Sunday, and for the 2nd weekend in a row I was blessed by the best people.

It really is amazing how the Universe gives you what you need and NOT what you want. I felt like it conspired WITH me and not AGAINST me. Things can only get infinitely better, and I will be happily awaiting the fantastic voyage.