Roads Less Traveled

I don't know how often you do it, but every once in a while I mindlessly surf Facebook and view friend's pages. Friends I haven't seen or talked to in years. Some were once very close to me, some not so much, but everytime I am amazed by how far we've both come and how different our lives are from each other. Sometimes I wonder without the advent of Facebook and other sites like it, would I really care to know about these people's lives? Or them about mine? I mean our e-mails and phone numbers have relatively stayed the same, and honestly, if we wanted to find each other we could, but we don't.
I recently came across a friend's page that I haven't talked to since Senior year of college (after his ex-girlfriend, one of my best friends at the time, admitted she had been unfaithful in their relationship). I always liked the guy, had a cool bond with him. Now he lives halfway across the world, is engaged and seems to be living the life he wants (I hesitate to say he is truly happy with his station because like I stated, we haven't talked in years). How did our lives become so different when, in a sense, we came from the same place? I think about the bonds I'm creating now and wonder how long until these people, that I claim I couldn't do without, will one day just become faces in pictures, on a page, sitting idle in my Friends box on the left side of my computer screen?
I know that not all relationships/friendships are supposed to last forever. Like everything, some things leave to make room for new things. Outlets like Facebook, Twitter and even Myspace throws the mortality of the relationship in your face. Don't get me wrong, I don't feel the sudden need to message people like crazy with the old: "remember me? Let's be friends again, wasn't that fun?!" Let's be honest, we're all at different points in our lives now, and what they have to offer me now may not be what I need or want. I've always been pretty cautious with making close friends for this exact reason.
My college friends are actually having a reunion weekend in DC very soon and I won't be in attendance. Again, I am the rogue friend. I love my college friends and miss them dearly, but there are other obligations in my life that pull me in another direction. Sacrificing one group of friends for another just sucks, no matter the circumstance. Within the next five years I dread being that "fringe friend" at the wedding, or baby shower, or engagement party, that closer friends and family members haven't met because I was never around for key events.
There are moments when I think: "who is visiting my page?" and "do they have the same thoughts I do? Do they remember that time when I was in their life?" At any rate, I truly believe that every person I ever gave the title of "friend" and really connected with I will always remember. They've added to my life experience and left an imprint on my being because without that encounter I would know squat about the world, people, places, and the varying opinions that exist out there.
So here's to friends, young, old, new, here and now. I appreciate your short visit in my life, and even if you don't stick around, I wish you the best on your journey on the roads less traveled.

Chivalry....its not dead

I was recently speaking to a friend about chivalry. The ancient art of woo-ing if you will. While this may be a foreign concept to some modern men (and women) it is not for all. For you see my friends, I am a classic, insufferable, by-the-book, romantic (crowd gasps in shock). Yes, the Hippy is a romantic. Such a classic idea for one who lives on the fringe of society.

I thoroughly enjoy everything about being romantic. From opening doors, sideways glances, picking up the tab, standing on the street side of the sidewalk to shield my courtier from the freak oncoming traffic, its all such beautiful dance to me. I don't like to "chase" or "play games", but I will court all day long (if given the chance). There's something excited, sexual and intellectual about the process of courting. Irish writer Laurence Stearne described it as:

“Courtship consists in a number of quiet attentions, not so pointed as to alarm, nor so vague as not to be understood”

It takes just the right amount of suggestion, timing and attention to detail to make a courtship fun and interesting, and in the end the inevitable reward is always well worth it. So the next time you decide to pursue someone, instead of going for the quick kill, trying being chivalrous, it later becomes the measure by which the person you are seeking may judge all others.

Grinds My Gears: Ergonomic Keyboards

You know what Grinds My Gears, ergonomic keyboards. Who told Microsoft it was okay to mess with the way I type? Sure the little slope at the bottom of the board is better on the wrists, and the thicker keys cut down on the click-clack noise, but the spacing of the keys is out of control!
The keyboard is on a slight curve making some buttons smaller than usual and some longer. This causes a dilemma. I have small hands, and the travel distance to the Caps Lock, Enter, and the letter "L" buttons is just off. I type "a" in an attempt to capitalize things, the quote button when trying to push Enter, and  "lol" ends up "kik". Sigh, really?! Sure, I might have gotten a slight case of carpal tunnel with my old keyboard, but we had a bond. This new one, not so much.

Philosophical Rant: Summer Edition.

I had a Twitter debate last night (well...not a debate more of me stating my position and my followers wanting an explanation) about, of all things, Feelings and Love. Here's the tweet that started it all:

When u love something so much, u can't imagine life without it, let it go. Releasing love that deep to the Universe is a precious gift.

Of course the natural response was: "how do you figure this?" Here was my response:

Love is the ultimate feeling of attachment, ultimate frequency, highest plane, etc.. For ur being to have that much energy inside it U have to share that energy. Let go of it. U can let go of the energy and not physically let go of what ur attached to However that energy makes u feel, u have to make others feel it. Now if u do physically unattch urself from the thing that makes u happy All of THAT energy is transferred to another being. All great love stories involve the loss or giving away of that love What remains and causes the 2 wholes to come back together is that they never left the same frequency. U'll always have that love together.

*Forgive the typos, I had a lot to say and only 140 characters per tweet*

Love is all about Energy. All the good emotions that come from feeling Love, is all Energy that gets released. Positive energy begets positive energy, negative energy begets negative energy.  After a little more reflection I began thinking; "what makes you feel 'connected' to someone else?" I know I'm not the only person to wonder why they feel so attached to someone, why you click so well with someone else and why, no matter how much you try, you continue to think of them when they are physically not around. Why the energies between two people mesh better than the energies from others? Once you've felt the connection, why do we fight so hard to never let it go with some people, but are so flippant with others?
Hopefully this Summer I'll find out.

Senders and Recievers

Today I awoke with a sense of calm and transcendence. There's something about meditation and intense focus that seem to ground me. No, I don't sit in the middle of my floor in Lotus position, breathing the Om through my vocal cords. I simply pick a thought and follow it through. Last night my thought landed on travel.
I'm starting to read Eat, Pray, Love (yes I know I tardy to this party, sue me) and I really like it. Elizabeth Gilbert is a bold and ambitious woman and funny writer. The bravery to just get up and go....sometimes I wish I had it. I love all the projects I take on, but to just say "hey, I'm going to go half way across the world and possibly never come back", takes a lot of balls. Its always been in my head that I WILL see the world. Hike the trails in Latin America, experience the night life of Europe, eat the best foods in South America and sample the wealth of the Middle East. All of THAT is going to happen. But how?
I've never been much of a planner, as a matter of fact, I come from a long line of let's-fly-by-the-seat-of-our-pants type people. My aunt travels frequently and lived in Europe for over a decade. My cousin lives the life of a vagabond and cris-crosses the US, and my mother....well like me, she's a dreamer. She wants to get out, but plagued by responsibility. However, since I've left the nest, she has frequented Germany and gone on short vacations to serene places, mainly near water (that's the writer in her, she needs calm to think). Since I've got the genes that can allow me to travel and thrive anywhere I feel like I'm ahead of the game. Again the question remains...how is this all going to happen?
I know nothing in life is a coincidence and all answers are usually revealed at the right moments, like my boss who is secretly a licensed hypnotherapist (can you say sign?). Yes, a hypnotherapist. She's studied the mind and how to manipulate it, how freakin' cool is that?! It's been eye opening to converse with her over psychological matters, and why strangers off the street feel the need to always ask me questions, even in a crowd full of people. This is what she tells me:

"You're a Sender, its what you do. Somehow, you send messages out there from your brain and people respond to them. They're called Receivers. We don't use about 90% of our brains, but I think a lot of the parts that we don't consciously are used for things like that. To Send and Receive. You have a good aura about you, and people can sense that. You're very intellectual and usually what you send out you can make anyone receive."

So I'm sending out a message to the Universe...GET ME OUT OF HERE SO I CAN SEE THE WORLD!!!

Music Mondays: Rock On

Today I was reminded of my affinity for great Rock music....yes, Rock music. No hair bands, no monster ballads, just great lyrics, unique singing abilities and amazing guitar work.
Incubus has been one of my favorite bands since High School (the first song I heard by them was Stellar and I've been a fan ever since) and I was reminded of frontman Brandon Boyd's use of romanticized lyrics, over Mike Eizinger's melodic guitar grooves. Incubus has released 6 albums over the past 10+ years, traveled the world many times over, all while winning Grammys and selling over 13 million albums worldwide. What I like most about the band is their sincere lyrics and staying true to their roots. Boyd paints vivid pictures of past relationships and experiences that have not only shaped his life but the band's as well.
Another element to Incubus; they are not your average white guys. The five-piece boast a former bassist from the infamous Hip Hop band The Roots, and a Mexican drummer. The band is well-rounded and oozes pure talent in every song. They've always stayed true to just making and playing good music, carving a niche for themselves in the music business, and gaining respect from peers such as 311, Primus, and The Roots.
The next time you want to branch out of your music bubble download some Incubus, and if you don't think their 2001 release Morning View isn't one of the best modern rock albums of the past 20 years...then your ears will never know the pleasure of good music.

The First Day of the Rest of Your Life

I've had two of the most amazing weekends of my life back to back. I know that's a rather bold statement to make, but it's true. There are points in your life where you can pinpoint where a moment, experience, or person that changes you. I've had these moments before, but I think these weekends were the first in my "real" adult life where I felt a turning point.
The first weekend consisted of pure mayhem and fun in Miami (even though I came off the trip feeling a little bothered by pesky incidences). The second weekend entailed skydiving 13,500ft above the Earth, up-all-night philosophical discussions about post-apocalyptic "hypothetical" situations, and relaxing in Central Park. Somewhere in these two weeks I was reminded of the fleeting nature of Life and how important it is that we extend each moment.
The Buddah was once asked What is Nirvana? Nirvana is simply a place, in time, where you are living it, and being in the moment. Being the experience. I was present for every major moment that I had......and it felt good. I came back feeling refreshed and more knowledgeable about myself and my surroundings.
Deciding to just go for it and see what happens. I have all the confidence in myself and my abilities, and am truly grateful for the people I surround myself with. I am truly living each day as a new start....all thanks to taking a risk.

The Art of Flirting

Eyes. Lips. Hand gestures. Body Language. These are all used in the Art of Flirting, and boy do people like to flirt! So what is it about sideways glances and sexually suggestive jokes that bring a smile across our faces? Maybe its the thought that we are being desired by someone that we may be desiring as well. Maybe its just the attention, or maybe we hope that the innocent flirting will lead to more intimate things ;)

Personally, I enjoy flirting. Its fun and a great way to open the door to a more-than-friendship partnering. Sometimes, I flirt without even knowing it because subconsciously I am really digging that person. The advent of "smileys" in our tech driven world have made the Art a little more fun because it allows either side to be just a little more coy about their intentions.

So how can you tell when you're flirting with someone and how can you tell when someone is flirting with you?
-You smile more often
-Eye contact is maintained
-You'll find an excuse to get next to them and/or touch them
-You body language is more open (no arms crossed)
-You leave suggestions or remarks open-ended
-You pay compliments
-You often use any of the following smileys while texting: ;o)   :o)   :op   ;op  :o*

In any event, creating a flirtatious relationship is not all one-sided, so remember that the next time you're flirting...YES that person is in to you too! Even if its just a little bit.