Friends, How many of us have them?

Its been just about a month since I last blogged. To be honest I felt there was "nothing" to blog about. Usually people like to discuss all that's going "wrong" in life, what's disappointing us. I guess I was fortunately not blogging because things were going quite swimmingly. What's prompting this blog? Recent disappointment.

The anatomy of a friendship can be quite complex. If you're like me,  your friends constantly come to you with their issues with other friends asking "should I be upset that they did/said/acted this way?" Usually my first response is "what exactly is your relationship with them?" Whether we're conscious of it or not we have "tiers of friends". There are those that comprise our innermost circles, they are our family outside of our bloodline. Then there are tiers for close friends, associates, friends of friends, work friends, school friends, etc... Depending on how close your relationship is with someone will dictate their tier.

Recently I've had the misfortune of picking and choosing my top tier friends over one another. The main issue with this is that I must sacrifice one friend's needs over another because let's face it, we can't be in two places at the same time (unfortunately). Its a crazy situation when the friends in your top tier don't necessarily like each other because in someone's eyes--if even for a moment--you're the bad guy. I hate being the bad guy. I wish that friends would understand the dynamics of the relationships that their friends have with others. Taking a step back and looking at a situation from outside of yourself can give you a better look at the bigger picture. I think what disappoints friends most is the level of expectation. We expect (in some cases demand) so much from our tiers; or top tier carrying most of the burden. Granted this tier knows us the best and holds our most important secrets, hopes and dreams. So it's difficult to understand why they can't or won't deliver when we want them to. Example, I recently had a friend who was stood up on her birthday by a top tier friend with no good excuse. A heart breaking situation indeed. Actions like that are what can make or break a friendship. Top tier friends can fall to the bottom so fast, some with no hope of cracking the next caste up at any point.

When it comes to your friendships, be the best person you can be, especially if you're in someone's top tier. That fall from grace can penetrate through other friendships with mutual people. You can never expect any one person, or groups of people to always be around every single time you need them, no matter what, but as friends we can all try our best. In the end, we all want someone who isn't going to judge us, and be the shoulder to cry on when we need it most, or share in life changing experiences to enhance the bond. Never forget that friendship, like any relationship, is a two-way street. We're all bound to mess up at one point of another but if it really means something to you, fight for it. Good friends are hard to find.