I went on my first hike this weekend! I love the outdoors and nature (even if it doesn't love me back sometimes), and I love to wander around looking at all the cool nature stuff, so hiking is the perfect fit. I set my sights very high when it comes to physical things, which often gets me in trouble because I forget that I don't have the stamina for these things. I want to climb Diamond Head which is basically the most famous hike on Oahu near Waikiki. But my more levelheaded and realistic roommate suggested a beginner's trail in Hau'ula. The trail takes you up about 700ft and over looks a gulch and beach scenery on the windward side. I learned a lot on the hike. Mainly, that mountainous inclines are very tough, and knock all the wind out of me. But besides that, I learned to be very trusting of the Earth and its inhabitants. The views were so worth it and reminded me why I need to live this life right now. Can't wait to build up to Diamond Head and beyond!
Last week a couple of awesome friends came halfway across the world to visit Jak (my roommate) and I. It was beyond awesome. Having them here for 5 days kinda felt like I never left Philly, and reminded me that I really miss my friends and some aspects of my life there, but chilling out here and just doing our thing was a million times better than anything Philly could offer.
After they left for the second leg of their vacation, it was back to just me my roomie, and the randomness that has become our everyday lives. I've talked to a couple friends and had each one ask, "are you happy there?"
Part of the reason for me leaving Philly was that I felt very unfulfilled in many aspects of my life. I felt stuck. But am I now "happy"? Has my life done a 180 in about two and a half months? Its a loaded question.
There are things about me that are "changing" I guess you could say, but these are things I've always aspired to do, its just that now I'm not giving into excuses. I've shed a lot of the material things and I'm taking this vagabond life seriously. One thing that's happened that I'm ever grateful for is the reduced noise in my head.
I'm a chronic thinker, its quite an annoying condition. Its very hard for me to turn my mind off and be open to things, but here...its like my mind knows to be quite. No job stressing, no stressing about weekend plans, no CUS stress, just me and the things I've always wanted to do to better myself, and yes the constant sunshine and perfect weather do help.
I don't know if I'm "happy". The more I stick around on this planet, the more I begin to feel that the word "happy" is much like the word "love", highly overused yet rarely and truly experienced. I'm still growing and becoming the person I've always wanted to be, and accepting the fact that it may not have been what I envisioned as a teenager. I'm becoming who I was meant to be. Its as if the Universe is telling me to listen and slow down, stop worrying and fix your chronic thinking problem because in the grand scheme of life nothing's permanent and problems are only teaching tools. Listen and Learn.